Friday 6 May 2016

When You Don't Miss Church But Do Miss Jesus

Linking up at 5 Minute Friday where we all write for 5 minutes in a community on our prompt.  Today we're writing on MISS.  What do you miss?

Miss - what do I miss? I miss church. But not all of it. I don't miss the angst and the work and the stress of getting there with two little people, travelling 40 minutes to and from, and getting home after lunch on a Sunday, a day which is supposed to be a day of rest and turns out to be more exhausting than most of my other days. I don't miss going to church alone, consistently, without my husband and dealing with my children in that setting, alone, nor the stress of the perception of women who go to church alone.
I don't miss the hours put into making Sunday School meaningful for children from 2 through to 10, who aren't really that keen. I don't miss the shallowness of relationships, when really all I wanted was to sit down and have a decent, meaningful conversation with someone over a cup of tea, on any day, in any place, not just because it's Sunday and we happen to be in the same building on the same day of the week.
I miss worshipping God with people I know and care about, but I don't miss the hassle of trying to get a toddler to be quiet so that I can concentrate in worship and so that other people aren't put out.
I miss morning tea and connections, but I don't miss the frustration of not being able to go deeper because people don't have time or don't get who I am, of not being able to share deeply because it's not a private setting. I don't miss the in-house gossip, but I do miss belonging to a small group, however dysfunctional it might have been.
  So I miss church - but in missing church, I have found some deeper connections with people, and I have found out things about myself and church - what it should be, what I should be, and what we all shouldn't be and do. I don't miss 'playing church' but I am still missing what church should be about - in fact, sometimes I don't really have a clue. I have grown up in church, been there since I was seven years old, so over 40 years in church, and I still am missing the point of what church should really look like, both corporately and individually.
So, this year, I will keep looking and reading and seeking God about what HE thinks church should be, and I will keep connecting with His people wherever and whenever and however He asks me to, and I will keep missing out on some things until He says it's time to go back, consistently and to be committed to a particular group in a particular place at a particular time. So, I miss church but this season of missing something is allowing me to find what and more importantly, who I have missed and not recognised for a very long time in church - Jesus. And I've missed Him.

10 comments:

  1. Love the way you described this.

    I miss church; when I lived in San Diego I attended San Diego de Acala, and miss the simple majesty of the old Mission church, and how it affected the people; a hushed stillness, after Mass.

    #2 at FMF this week

    http://blessed-are-the-pure-of-heart.blogspot.com/2016/05/your-dying-spouse-151-missing-ewe-fmf.html

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks so much for your comments. There is something very special about mission churches and old ones. I miss the ones I grew up with.

      Delete
  2. This is such a great post! I am in a similar place and do not miss playing church at all. Maybe we sometimes have to leave that 'show' in order to find Jesus – the one we've been missing all along.
    May you have fruitful encounters with God and people on this discovery journey!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks, Katha, for stopping by and for your feedback. It's been an interesting journey so far with more to come, I'm sure. And finding Jesus' presence in a very new and real way was a very pleasant surprise and a surprising one, because I didn't realise I had missed Him.

      Delete
  3. I really connect with this. Well said. While we're missing all of those things you mentioned, may we never miss Jesus. Stopping by from #fmf.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks for stopping by, Debby. May we not miss Jesus indeed - it is so worth the sacrifice to find Him again.

      Delete
  4. Thanks for your honesty in this post!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks, Denise, for your feedback. Honesty, I'm finding, is very liberating and a product of leaving church, in my case. Have played church for way too long, and am learning a lot on this new journey.

      Delete
  5. Ah, I totally get your delimma. I stay close to Jesus, but don't really enjoy church (for me, all I have to do is walk across the street). I think I miss what church should really be--not what it is. I wish those in charge knew the difference.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks for your feedback. If I knew what church should be, I would tell you. :) I'm in the process of finding out, but one thing I've learnt already - it should be about relationships - me with Him and then me with you and her and him and them. So, it's back to concentrating on relationships for me, until God tells me otherwise. As for the leadership, we should pray for them - it's so not easy to be in their positions.

      Delete